Cold & Lonely where I used to play

Things have been strange of late. I have been living with my Brother in a house that he inherited from my Grandmother. The strange thing is that my Grandmother is 90 years old and still very much a live. The house is paid off and my Brother has gotten himself quite the deal. He did invest almost $10,000 in fixing up the house and it does look like a completely different house, but it's strange in the sense that I now lay my head in a house, nay a room where I once slept after a long day of playing, riding my bike, playing basketball, football until dinner was ready. I use to expel so much energy on these streets as a kid. Somewhere along the line, I just got fat. So now, at 32, I'm trying to do something about it, ...again.

I wake up everyday at about 9am and go for a mild run through the neighborhood. Nothing too intense as I'm only starting out again. Then I delve into the nutritional food I've purchased for a few small meals a day. After my first meal, it's over to my late Mother's house, the house I was born in, to continue emptying it out and getting it ready to put up for sale. This is a process that has lasted quite some time now. In my own opinion, it has lasted too long. I must admit that I never in a million years thought it would take this long, but now several dates for my moving to New York have come and gone as a result. As I type, my own girlfriend is living in Brooklyn and I am engaged in a long distance relationship. I drove her up two weeks ago in a uhaul and then flew back the following Thursday.

I can't say it's easy living here in San Antonio. It's a city I tried so hard to leave 15 years ago and even harder to not have to come back to, but alas, when the matriarch of a family passes, it is difficult not to have to come home to reconcile everything. So I'm making the most of it. Trying not to spend any money while maximizing my potential for the future by looking for jobs, making money and setting up a place to live in NYC, which I'm hoping will come at just the right time. Until then, all I can do is be patient. It's just the thought of wasting time at my age kills me.